Wednesday, April 11, 2012

3 Cars That Europe Got Right, and America Didn't

First off to all of my 3 viewers (is it up to 3 now?  we should throw a mixer for cryin' out loud), I want to apologize for the laziness in posting.  There have been some pretty extreme changes to my life recently...but for better or worse, I'm trying to keep some of these goofy posts rolling so that I don't lose the blog altogether.  Yes, I am good at pouting...just ask Sara.

So, I have a treat for you today.  One of my favorite things in the whole wide world is automobiles.  I have to be one hell of a Simon Cowell when it comes to talking about what I like and what I don't like, don't I?  You're right if you thought yes, except I don't sport that ridiculous haircut.

I wanted to share with you a short list of cars that I believe have failed in such a miserable way that you may think I have a disorder from looking at small details....some you may think the car gives people HIV just from looking at it.

#3 Toyota's Mistake

This is America's 2003 Toyota Tundra.  You may be thinking I'm missing something here, but I'm not.  Do you see those rear taillights?  I'm sorry but what in all that is holy was the designer thinking when he/she sketched out the rear of this truck?  First let's remind ourselves that this is a truck, not a car...a simple oversight that the Japanese designer for Toyota thought that he could ignore.

Toyota obviously has to design for the world, so you'd think that the truck for Europe's market would be very similar, and that the minute details would only be the differentiating factors...


This is the Toyota Hilux, and it's much much different.  Top Gear, a British television show about cars, detonated a 20-story building with a Hilux on top.  When they found the truck afterwards, they brought in a mechanic with basic tools to connect a few odds-and-ends and STARTED THE DAMN THING.  This is what a truck should speak to.

I make look like I just woke up, but I'll Jean-Claude Van
Damme your ass in 2 seconds.
America may forget about the 2003 mistake, but I won't.

#2 Ford's Ignorance

In 2000, Ford reintroduced the Taurus to the American public.  A choice that was very wise, but never thought through.  The Taurus was the best selling car in the states, and so they created this beauty.  I don't even know if I can call anything on the car a "design feature."  It's just a thing.  It has some shapes, but I don't even know how to quantify all of the features into a style....

On the other hand, we got fucked.  Look at how Europe slowly and sensually molested us this time:

C'mon guys, can't you at least give us the damn TAURUS.
This is the ravishing Ford Mondeo.  Europe's exquisitely designed version of the Taurus.  Since we think "more is always better," the Mondeo is a bit smaller, sleeker, edgier.  I'd like to think that a full slab of ribs is better than a 1/2 slab, but this car is making me jealous.  I want to move to the UK right now and just buy one.  And the sad thing is that they haven't screwed things up since then...

Still puckering her lips, waiting to give you that sloppy
kiss of defeat.
#1 Volkswagen's Bad Choice

I just want to give a big shout out to my boys at VW.  Thanks for the Golf and the GTI.  Really, I'm very happy with both.  What's that you say?  You have another model in Europe that you're not releasing in the states?  It happens all the time, but I have to ask for a peek just so I can get it over it sooner rather than later:

GOD ALMIGHTY HOW COULD YOU.  You sneaky bastards, you had to choose this one?  It couldn't have been the Volkswagen Routan for the love of god?

VW makes the Scirocco exclusively for Europe's market, and is the same price as a Rabbit/Golf, but looks 50 times better.  

I think that when I take a look at Europe's car market, it forces me to think as to why design is not as important to the US.  You look at these examples I've set forth wonder how they've done it so properly.  It's as if updating the design from year-to-year was a very in-depth analysis of how to improve the look and quality.  It truly makes me a sad panda.
Touche to your meme's Sara.  Tou-freakin'-che.

Short and sweet this time.  Hope you enjoyed.

1 comment:

  1. wow 3 already?? (not sarcastic) I am only up to 16.