A Day In The Life of a Sorority Girl

This is something I've wanted to do for quite awhile now; put my mind in a 19 year ol.......ok let's rephrase this entire sentence because I don't want to get arrested.  I've wanted to know why some girls that decide to "Go Greek" in school do so, and then proceed to make an enormous ass out of themselves.

There's nothing better than fundraisers with sorostitutes.

Yes, sorostitutes.  As defined here:

	I am a sorostitute. I'm better than you and I know it. You can find me on campus in the SUV my daddy bought for me, rocking my Chanel sunglasses, North Face jacket, Nike Shox or Rainbow sandals. I never leave my sorority house without my letters somewhere on me. I date a fratdaddy. I don't care that he cheats on me with other sorostitutes because I cheat on him too.

Thank you Urban Dictionary, you couldn't have said it any better.

So sit back and enjoy the plethora of events you're about to witness on the Friday night of a sorority girl's daily doings.  It's not like it's hard to do this...there are two easy steps to becoming a sorostitute:


Step 1


9:30am

 Time to wake u.....nevermind I'm too fucking hungover.  (Back to sleep)

11:15am


Is that dried up vomit?  Shit what time was COMM110 lecture?  Whatever I'm so over that class.  Looks like Adam slept with me last night...Claire is going to be SO pissed since they started hooking up last week. Not like I care, last night was AH-MAZINGGGG.

Pictured above:  the definition of an amazing night with
a really cool person.

Proceed to get out of top bunk using ladder.  Ladder too difficult, I'm going to jump this one.


God I need some water, that Sex on the Beach last night was so strong.

Proceed to try and walk down the hallway, swaying 10' in each direction in the process.


Made it to the kitchen.

"HEY GIRLLLLL!  YOU READY FOR SOME SHOTS?" says Lindsey, our house social rep.
"LOVE YOU GIRLS!  LETS DO THIS!"

Down shot with other 15 housemates, screaming afterwards chanting "KAPPAS FOR LIFE!!!!"


12:30pm


This super hot guy from HIST114 named John or something asked me to Carson Hall for lunch.  I've got to put on this sexy outfit I just got from Hollister.  Totes have to make sure the heart-shaped tan mark near my junk is showing because my top is way too short...

Lineup of clothes:
Tremendously short Hollister pink tank-top (making sure heart tan mark is showing) 
Aviator sunglasses
Sideways neon green Kappa Kappa Gamma trucker hat
Even shorter ripped jean skirt
Soccer socks with KKG letters on them
UGG fur boots


1:00pm


Arrive at Carson Hall to meet John or whatever his name is.


OMG is it totally Burger Day???  I need a fuckin burger for this hangover, and a huge Diet Coke because I need to watch my figure...

"HEY JOHN!!!!!!  OMG did you just workout, your muscles are totally hot."
"It's Tim, and no actually I just got back from the computer lab....I have a big test Monday."
"Whatever you totally workout you bashful thing you.  Lets eat and go back to my place."
"I'm gunna head out actually, this is weird..."

Proceed to eat sorrows away because you didn't get penis.


2:00pm


Return to KKG House to overdramatize events.


I need to tell all the girls about this guy, he's such a dick.  I mean who turns this down?  This outfit is totally f-in hot.  These strawberry blonde highlights???  Yeah John, you can't have it.

"Girls, this guy John totes just told me off at Carson Hall.  It's not cool, I mean look at me"
"Sweetie you are looking so fab right now, that guy just can't handle you anyways."


Takes another shot of tequila to rinse her sorrows away.


"Girls, let's go over to see the hot Delt's, they're having a beerpong outdoor mixer."
"GO KAPPAS!"

SHOTS AND SHOTS AND SHOTS AND fuck im tired....

The girls proceed to "wooo" and take more shots before heading over, buzzed, to the frat party.

3:30pm


Now that I'm at Delta Sigma, I'm totally going to play beer pong and act like I have no clue what I'm doing so some guy can teach me!

Go get 'em champ; pretty sure guys think you suck
at beer pong no matter what.

Proceeds to throw the ping pong ball at the other teams' cups and misses, hitting her housemate in the face.


OMG I totally hit Selena in the face, my bad!  We should go take a restroom break and talk about the boys and act like we're doing our makeup.

"Hey Selena, I need to go to the bathroom, come with?"

Both housemates walk to the bathroom.


4:30pm


We should totally just hit up the bars and forget about this LAME party Selena, the guys are not hot AT ALL.  Do some shots for free before we leave?

"LOVE YOU GIRL!  KAPPA'S FOR LIFE!"

5:00pm


Housemates proceed to Tori's Bar & Grill down the street to get away from the frat party.


"ROUND OF SHOTS FOR ALL THE SISTERS!  WOOOOOOOOO"

At this point, our current sorostitute is feeling extremely drunk and malnourished from the lack of food and water.


Why not just get a Sex on the Beach and find a cute guy to take home?

Before she can get another drink, she blacks out.

God damn right that sharpie job is FINE WORK.

Step 2


Repeat step 1 when conscious again.